I slowly make my way across the ice behind the rest of the group, having to travel with a wounded leg is not ideal but I guess it could be a lot worse. As we slowly edge closer to the large house which is apparently full of supplies, I begin to realize that the ice is a lot thinner than the rest of the group thinks. There is a small herd of walkers trailing behind us and I can see Clementine walking ahead of me. As long as she reaches the other end safely I will be able to stop worrying, I’ve grown so attached to that little girl, she’s one of the only people I have left. Suddenly I hear Kenny shout and start to run after Arvo, the little shit is trying to escape. There better be supplies in that house, we all need it, Clementine especially…she’s starting to look worn out. I don’t really like Kenny but I still hope he doesn’t do anything stupid, not when Clementine looks up to him so much, I understand they have history but he certainly has a temper on him. I begin to step forward cautiously when I hear a small crunch beneath my foot. I take another few steps, with each step comes a small cracking noise, and with each noise I feel my heat beating a little bit faster. I’m beginning to think I’ll have a heart attack before I even fall through the ice, I take one last step which causes a spiderweb of cracks to spread underneath my foot.
I try to turn around but the same thing happens again. There is no going back. I raise my head to see the group looking at me, Clementine and Bonnie begin to move closer, the ice is so thin it won’t hold us all. I yell at them both to stay back as I lose my footing and my leg falls through the ice but Bonnie keeps encouraging her to help me, Clementine chooses to edge towards me ignoring my plea. She always wants to do what’s best for other people, I just pray that her kindness won’t get her killed one day. Suddenly I’m caught off-guard as I fall straight into the freezing cold water, Clementine falls in with me which causes my instincts to kick in. A walker grabs on to her and she frantically tries to free herself, she manages to get it away from her before another one makes a lunge at her. Before it gets the chance to sink it’s teeth into her I grab it from behind it’s head, it’s either my life or hers and I sure as hell am not going to let that little girl die if it’s the last thing I do. I push the walker away from me but it manages to cling onto my leg, pulling me deeper into the water, Clementine turns to look at me with fear. I try to mouth ‘I love you’ but my body won’t cooperate, I hope she knows how I feel about her…I’ve always wanted children and if I had ever had the chance to have one I would have been the proudest father on Earth if it became half the person she is. I hope she doesn’t remember me this way and equally I hope she never forgets me.
I’ve dreamed of death before and encountered a lot of it since the whole damn thing started, so many of my friends have left me, I always imagined a bite would be the way I’d go. But somehow this is so much worse, I didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye. I allow my mind to wander back to when Nick and I used to make our dumb bets, when we were younger we would bet on who could always pull of the best pranks, who would win a game of basketball then eventually it turned to card games and pool. I lost every time. Our last bet was different though, we bet on who would live the longest, it was before everything got serious. I said he would end up killing himself knowing how clumsy he is with that gun of his, he bet I would die trying to save an animal; my weakness. Nick and I always spoke about how we would one day share a flat together and get a bunch of dogs but obviously we never got the chance. Although the bet was a joke it became so much more real when we were trapped in that trailer with Sarah, Nick had been badly injured and when he left to find help he told me that he loved me. I guess I was right after all, Nick did kill himself but it was far more heroic than I had ever imagined, he knew he would turn and instead of forcing me to put him out of his misery he left so I wouldn’t have to. It was such a typical Nick thing to do, he was always looking out for other people even if it went unnoticed. I still feel guilty for barely reacting to his death, I just try to pretend it never happened and I swear some days I can almost hear him making one of his stupid remarks. I never realized how much I needed him until he was gone.
I am woken from my thoughts when I see a hand suddenly grab Clementine and drag her out of the water, I breath a sigh of relief…my last breath. Knowing she is safe is making me calmer, this is it, I can feel the cold seeping into my bones and the darkness slowly beginning to roll over my body. I’ve never been religious but I hope there is something beyond this feeling that I’m walking on air, I hope I get to see Nick soon. I need to hug him again, to tell him I love him too, and to tease the fuck out of him; after all…I won our last bet.